Tag Archives: how

Learning: Why Questions and Defensive Reactions

For years my parents asked questions like “Why are you still on the computer?”

After thousands of questions maybe it isn’t a surprise that I’ve built up a defensive reaction to those why type of questions.

And yet here I am in customer meetings asking “Why are you running one-month cycle plans?”

And maybe it’s not a surprise that customers are often defensive for those type of questions.

It’s probably not difficult to change them to how or what type of question.

So instead I could ask “What are the benefits you get from running one-month cycle plans?”

It’s the same question just worded differently and from an emotional perspective will get a different response. This is something that Chris Voss talks about in Never Split the Difference.

So have a think about how many why questions you ask throughout the day and how you might be able to change those questions to get a better emotional response.